BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS and GETTING COMMITMENT

Organizing begins with relationships. It is by harnessing this power – building on our own
relationships to reach out to others—that we can create the grassroots foundation for change.
Relationships are the threads from which communities, organizations, and movements are woven.
They create the context within which we become who we become, form the values we share, define
the goals we seek, and mobilize the resources we need to achieve those goals.
A significant part of your work as an Organizer will be conducting one-on-ones with potential
volunteer leaders. Initially you will conduct on-on-ones to identify, recruit and develop house
meeting hosts. Later you will conduct one-on-ones to build relationships with key potential
volunteers and to find a way to get them involved. One-on-ones are the key tactic organizers use to
build and sustain relationships with volunteers.
As an Organizer you will be building relationships with current volunteers, supporters who could
become volunteers, and people who could become supporters. The goal of building these
relationships is to create community together, always with the ultimate goal of moving that
community into productive, goal-oriented action.
What are relationships?

Relationships are rooted in shared values. We can identify the values we share by learning each
other’s stories, especially the ‘choice points’ in our life journeys. The key is asking “why.”
Relationships grow out of exchanges. Your resources can address my interests; my resources can
address yours. The key is identifying interests and resources.
Relationships are created by commitment. We each commit resources to a relationship, especially
our most precious resource, our time. The key is asking for a commitment.
Why are we building relationships?

To form community, launch a group or a team. You will first learn to build relationships with
others on your team so that you can work together more effectively. You will also be building
relationships with volunteers as you seek to build a new, broader community of action in the
community in which you work.
To revitalize a community and move them to action. Organizations and communities can often
get stuck with established activities and ways of doing things and that is often the case in politics.
This campaign is all about challenging others to try new ways of doing things, but they will be more
receptive to that challenge if you have a relationship with them. Intentional relationship building can
remind people of the values that brought them together – often embedded in the stories of
individuals within that community – and unearth new ideas and concerns.
To expand a community and develop new leadership. Healthy communities are continually
growing, not static. They expand by engaging and empowering new leaders who, in turn, reach out to
others. That’s what we need.
Leaders Build Relationships Through One-on-One Meetings
One-on-One Meetings are:

• Face to Face – not virtual. They are not conversations by email or phone. They are not 10-
  minute “drop by” meetings. They are 30-45 minute meetings of substance.
• Scheduled – not accidental. Leaders initiate relationships with others.
• Purposeful – not chit-chat. Leaders initiate one to one meetings for the purpose of finding
  common values and interests.
• Intentional – not casual or haphazard. One to one meetings establish a public relationship for
  public work together.
• Probing – not prying. One to one meetings help participants discover each other’s interests and
  stories when participants exchange many “why?” questions.

Whom do we ask for one on ones?
One-on-ones are 30-45 minutes (not including travel time). We have to think carefully about the best
potential leaders to do one to ones with before just plunging in.
Good prospects are:

• Strong, active volunteers
• Community leaders *active leaders in schools, clubs, places of worship, community organizations
• People recommended to you by other strong leaders you trust
• People that have a reputation for getting things done
• People that have a following
• People likely to share a passion/interest for the cause*not necessarily the person with a formal title. There are too many leaders with titles who can't organize a thing
  and certainly have no following. Often the best leaders are the people with informal authority in a community. For
  instance, the 70 year old woman who has lived in the community her entire life and regularly gathers a group of
  woman for coffee.

The Elements of a Successful One-on-One Meeting Include:

• Initiate a Relationship – we have to get another person’s attention to conduct a one-on-one
  meeting. The best way is simply to be up front about your own interest in the other person and
  the purpose of the meeting. There must be a purpose or a goal in setting up a one on one
  meeting.
• Understanding a Person’s Passion, Motivation, Self interest – most of the meeting time is spent
  in exploration. We share our own stories and probe to learn about the person’s values, passion
  and interests by asking why they made the choices that they did and sharing our own. This is
  different than prying into one another’s personal lives.
• Gain clarity – help the person gain clarity about themselves, their story and path in life.
• Gather Information about Resources – you explore, listen carefully for resources this person
  might be willing to bring to what we are building: skills (like data & technology), social networks
  (like clubs or church groups), and physical resources (like housing for staff and volunteers, or
  printers and ink cartridges). All resources help us, so don’t underestimate anything someone is
  willing to offer.
• Explaining Our Program & Asking for Commitment – You will need to be able to articulate
  why the person you’re talking with should get involved. Then ask for a specific commitment to
  host a meeting and recruit 50 friends and family with a goal of getting 20 to attend.
• Making a Commitment – a successful one on one meeting ends with a commitment that has a
  specific date and goal attached. For example, you will initially be asking those you do a one-to-
  one with to host a House Meeting and to invite 50 friends and family to that meeting.

Learning to tell your personal story, as we practiced earlier, is the first step in motivating others to
join you in action. But moving people to action NOW takes skill in creating purpose and urgency.
Interests
Resources
Shared Interest
Shared Resources
Shared Commitment

Getting Commitment

Learning to make action meaningful enough that volunteers will get involved in the first place and
then stay involved is a skill that takes thought and practice. As an Organizer you will constantly be
asking people to get into action.
Our volunteers and supporters will have very busy lives—work, school, family, vacations, and so on.
The action you are asking people to undertake is going to compete with these other very real
commitments in their lives.
So how can you help volunteers and supporters prioritize putting time into this organizing effort,
particularly if they haven’t volunteered before? How can you help channel their energy in a direction
that will produce the greatest outcome?
Important – Before you go into a one-on-one, and then during the one-on-one think about what
would help motivate the person you’re speaking with to take action. How can you give them an
opportunity to act on their values and beliefs in the public arena?

Creating Purpose

The first step is giving purpose to the action you are asking others to undertake. People will act with
you if they understand why they in particular matter, and how they in particular will make a
difference. To be able to give your specific community that kind of specific purpose you have to
know your community.
Getting to know the dynamics and stories of your community will be an ongoing part of your work
and requires careful probing and active listening.

• What makes your community (your state or city or neighborhood or the organization you’re speaking to) unique?
• What specifically can they bring to this campaign?
• What is the story your community tells about themselves, who they are, and why they matter in our country?
• What’s the story of their founding as a state or town or school?
• How does that story connect with what we’re trying to do now in this campaign?

What challenges are the people you’re trying to motivate working to overcome as a
community? How will action on this campaign give them hope that they can overcome
those challenges?
Giving action purpose requires that we tell a story about why this action matters, why these people in
particular are the ones to carry out this action, and how that action fits into the overall campaign.
In particular, in your first several weeks as an Organizer you will be meeting with volunteers to ask
them to host House Meetings.

• Who will people in your community be trying to unite?
• Why is this a unique opportunity for them to reach out to others they haven’t worked with before?
• What could unity do that would help this community in particular?You are not just asking volunteers to host a house meeting. You are asking them to give their
  community a vision of what a different country could look like by actually bringing together men,
  women, people of different ages and races to work together to create change.

Creating Urgency
Even if people want to follow you, and even if they come to believe that they do have an important,
purposeful role to play in this organizing effort, they still have to feel the urgency of acting now.
Creating urgency is difficult, because if everything is urgent all the time, then people get burnt out
and nothing feels urgent. There are a few things that will make a particular action urgent:
The knowledge that they will be part of something much bigger than themselves by
participating in this particular action.
For example, many other people will be engaged in the same activity on the same day at the same
time across the region or country. Or people like them in the next town over and in other towns
have similar goals—none of them can do this alone, but by taking responsibility for their piece they
can contribute to a collective win.
A story about what specifically will change if they take action—about what a different future
could look like.
An example from the United States remembering Dr. Martin Luther King’s “I Have A Dream”
speech, which motivated millions to get into action and join the struggle for civil rights:

• “I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We
  hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.
• “I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of
  former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
• “I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of
  injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and
  justice.
• “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged
  by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
• “I have a dream today.”

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“I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his
lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little
black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and
brothers.”
The detail of that vision has sustained the long, hard, dedicated work of many over the past 40 years
to the point where an African American is on the brink of becoming President of the United States.
The words alone didn’t create the change—they motivated others to take action.
Now we can’t all speak like Martin Luther King, but he taught us the value of a clear, detailed vision
of our destination together. That’s what you need to paint for volunteers.
Ask them to make specific sacrifices that they believe will help achieve that better future.
Often we shy away from asking others to make sacrifice, but significant change throughout history
has been built with the sacrifice and time and energy of people who love their country. Don’t
undermine the work by making it seem easier than it really is. Be honest with the person you’re
asking to take leadership about what’s involved. Then promise to support them in taking on that
leadership and follow through religiously on that promise.
The challenge ahead and the work they’ll perform is real and consequential. It does not
energize volunteers to promise we’ll win. We can’t make promises, and we have real and difficult
work ahead.

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Relationship Building and House Meetings Training Manual